The Expected Exception

Most of have probably heard the phrase "Life's not fair." Generally it's uttered when we want to levy an accusation of inequity - when we didn't get something that we thought we rightly should. The reason that generations of mothers have probably uttered these words is that, just like so many things our mother tells us, it's true. Life isn't fair. And the quicker we accept this fact, the better off our attitudes will be.

What's noteworthy to me, though, is that most people want life to be "fair" until fairness obtains them an outcome they don't like. Let me give you an example. In my class, I currently don't accept late assignments. When someone turns in an assignment late, and I tell them - "I'm sorry, but you won't earn any credit for this", they quickly want me to be "unfair" and accept their assignment contrary to the standards that everyone else has been held to. It's understandable - after all, who wants to forgo credit on an assignment just because they missed the deadline? - but it certainly wouldn't be "fair" to give out credit. It would be patently unfair to all the other students who had to turn the paper in by the due date in order to earn a grade.

It's not just college students who think like this though. How many of us hope and pray that the "crazy" driver gets a ticket, until that crazy driver is us? When we're talking to the police officer, we're presenting our case for why we should be the exception to the rule. In fact, in our pride, we often expect it. (And we degradate the police if they are so ludicrous as to not conform to our new-found sense of "fairness.") We expect to be the exception, but we sure hope everyone is consistent with the standards when it means someone else might benefit.

The wonderful thing about God, though, is that He didn't give us what we deserve. In the penultimate case of unfairness, the perfect Christ died for sinners, so that sinners would have His perfection counted towards them. Maybe if we appreciated this a little more, we wouldn't be so concerned with the misgivings that transpire on Earth. And maybe, in recognizing how grossly unfair this was, we'd be more than content to accept the outcome when we don't receive the exception we're expecting.

How do you deal with the fact that life's unfair? 

Presumption of Grace

We've all done it. We aren't paying attention and we accidentally cut someone off on the freeway. Sheepishly we wave our hand in apology and continue on. Or we turnaround while we are walking and bump into some unsuspecting stranger. Hastily we say we're sorry and go along our way. Perhaps we snap at someone, not because of anything they said, but because of our previous night's lack of sleep and without even making any pretense of making it right, we assume they'll understand. After all, we all have bad days.

The remarkable thing about all of these circumstances is that when we are the offender we are quick to accept our justification for the turn of events. That's because it's easy to recognize our own motivations and to believe that one ill-advised action doesn't translate into a nefarious character. We know we didn't mean any harm, and we trust that others will know that too. How often we extend that grace to others though is the real testament to the quality of our character. Do we forgive without being asked? Or do we search for an explanation that doesn't concede malfeasance? Do we extend to others the presumption of grace or do we demand an account for every grievance?

Christ said, "with the measure you use, you will be measured." (Luke 6:37) When we all stand to give an account to God, let us hope that He looks at our lives and sees a preponderance of grace. For we know that the only reason we get to spend an eternity with Him is the abundance of grace He lavished on us (Eph. 2: 8-9).

Revisionist History

In politics, opponents will often accuse each other of having an inaccurate view of the past. Whether they are wanting to disavow a now unpopular position, or they want to claim affinity for a suddenly popular one, its not uncommon for political figures to exhibit selective memory...and to hope their constituents do the same.

What's common in politics in also common in the rest of the human race as well. Ask people whether they think they will go to heaven, and a majority will probably answer "I hope so." When probed deeper and asked why they believe they will gain admittance, it is common to hear "Because I've lead a pretty good life." Of course, the benefit of this type of statement is that its very hard to prove the alternative in that moment, and so the questioner will assume that the person's life has, in fact, made a positive contribution.

Rarely, however, do we give an accurate account of the life we've lived. Even our overt actions are often insubstantially justified. When you include our hidden thoughts, feelings and emotions as well, it seems ludicrous that any of us can claim to have "lived a good life" let alone a life that is good enough for a holy God.

The apostle Paul, however, runs counter to this tendency. Here was man who repeatedly listed his iniquities and gave an account for his sinful actions. He did this, not to boast in the deeds he had done, but in the grace he had been shown. He did it to demonstrate that only God can truly revise a person's history.

Let us follow the apostle's example. Let Christians acknowledge their sin and the grace that has been showered upon us. And let us thank our God who intervened in history and change our future.

No Offense

Sometimes God uses the simple, seemingly insignificant things in life to teach us big lessons. Or to remind us of lessons that we once learned, but haven't been readily applying. For me, it was the gas line at Costco. And the seemingly huge injustice of being cut in front of as another driver impatiently waited for her line to move.

Now, you are probably wondering, "what lesson could be learned from this trivial act?" Well, as I railed in my head against the gall of this other driver and privately wished that justice would be done and I would in fact get to the pump quicker (which did happen!) I realized how silly it was that I was getting bent out of shape over "my" place in line. My reaction to the other person's action had the potential to determine my entire attitude for the rest of the day. And I was reminded, this wasn't something to take offense at. One, because it was ridiculous to let something as benign as that ruin my day, but more importantly, because in comparison against my offense to God, this was ridiculously trivial, as trivial as an ant's problems seem to me. My offense against Holiness was far greater than a simple inability to take one's turn, and yet that offense had been forgiven by a holy, yet gracious God. If I was going to be offended, I should be offended by the magnitude of my sin, and amazed at the magnanimity of His forgiveness. This small, Earthly offense should prompt my heart to be filled with thankfulness, humility and awe, not frustration.

Long-time readers will know that this lesson isn't a new one for me. After all, I've written about it in part here and here. However, along with my gratitude for the lesson, I'm thankful that He choose to use the Costco gas line to remind me of it. And that despite all my offense, He longs for a relationship with me and to shower me with the abundance of His grace. The least I can do is wish well those that offend me.

Inconvenient Truth

I have a memory of the first time I was faced with a decision to tell the truth. There was a shower mat in the bathroom that my sister and I shared. Somewhere along the way, the suction cups at the bottom of the mat had mysteriously begin disappearing and it didn't take Sherlock Holmes to figure out that either me or my sister had begun pulling them off. Because the memory sticks out so clearly in my head and because I can get bored easily, I think it was probably me. The strange thing about the memory is I'm not completely sure what I said although my guess is that I probably tried to skirt the truth for as long as I could. I think I eventually confessed, but if not, I guess now I have. What I do remember is the sense of importance that I felt was attached to the decision to the the truth or to lie. It's a moment that comes back to me every time negating the truth seems like the easier option.

Since that moment, I've been what many people might consider a staunch defender of the truth. I take deception rather personally, probably more so than I should for ultimately its God that's grieved as a result, not me. As I've gotten older I've learned that truth-telling needs to be coupled with discretion, but that truth and justice always stand on the same side. Being vulnerable and being willing to admit things that inconveniently mar the image that we've established for ourselves is the shortest path to humility. And humility is necessary to serve God.

What I've also learned though is that un-truths are never isolated events. The telling of a lie creates a phenomenon where un-truths are multiplied, sometimes quite unconsciously as people believe that the information we've passed on to them is true and they share it with others or make decisions on its basis. Any compromise of God's law has its price and the price of a lie is often the destruction of relationship. Truth is necessary for trust. Without either, relationships fail.

The good news is that God has made a way that despite our compromises of truth, we can be reconciled to the Truth. In this forgiveness, we find the ability to restore relationships with one another because we recognize that we've offended the perfect God to a far greater degree than someone else could ever offend us. This truth may destroy our self-inflated ego, but the peace of reconciliation is worth it.

The truth is often inconvenient to our objectives and our desires, but its never so to God's. Maybe if we trust His ways a little more we wouldn't find telling the truth quite so inconvenient.

Constrained by Grace

Freedom is a word that is highly prized in our society, and for good reason. When we look at countries whose governments unduly restrict freedom we realize the despair that can occur when control is consolidated in the hands of a few. Freedom gives people opportunity and in opportunity progress grows.

Despite our love of freedom, considered thought will demonstrate that we want some barriers to be in place. Even the staunchest libertarians usually argue for some laws for without them lawlessness ensues. True freedom needs boundaries, otherwise people's basest desires rules and anarchy consumes culture.

The acknowledgment that freedom begets boundaries does not provide a lot of comfort to those who struggle with Christ because they want to be in control of their life. A life lived in denial to oneself and in pursuit of Christ's will necessarily means that freedom is restrained. We are no longer able to do what we desire because we seek to do what He desires. In doing so, we give up limitless freedom in exchange for limitless grace.

Therein lies the conundrum that so many people find insurmountable. The freedom that is sacrificed is not sacrificed to a dictatorial god. Instead the boundless blessings of grace compels us to live a life that is subservient to Another's will. Just as many of us give up the freedom to do what we want to do when we go to work for another, the benefits that grace affords causes us to live a life that is no longer dictated by our desires. In our human relationships, we will go to sporting events, watch TV shows, and shop at the mall because the person that we are in love with finds these things enjoyable. By the same token, we don't life our live however we want because grace that has beget love prompts us to live according to the things that Christ enjoys.

Maybe Robert Robinson said it best in the words to Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing, a classic hymn with renewed popularity:

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

May His grace prompt each of our hearts to love the things He loves, and to pursue His kingdom eternally.

An Unaffordable Love

A good friend of the family taught me that relationships were like bank accounts; you may deposits and you make withdrawals. The key is to not make a greater withdrawal than the accumulation of the deposits you make. That's when problems emerge. The example she gave resonates with me still today - if she asked her daughter to do something and got a snappy response in return she knew that she was overdrawn. In one way or another, the balance had been altered.

We tend to approach our relationship with God in the same way. We think that if we make enough deposits that we're entitled to withdrawals. This is the "well, at least I'm not as bad as that guy" mindset. However, when we think about the deposit that's made been on our account - the selfless sacrifice of a Father who gave his Son on our behalf and a Son who willingly left His rightful place in heaven to pay that sacrifice - we realize that no amount of deposits can restore the balance. We are deeply in His debt. His love can't be purchased and if it could, its price none of us would be able to afford.

The even more amazing part of this equation is that on an account that I can never pay off, the things that I do out of love for Him, the acts of faith, are "credited" to me as righteousness. No payment satisfies the bill and yet we are given credit. What an amazing grace indeed.

Small Victories

It was silly really. A friend and I were going to a crowded movie theater and someone snagged my parking spot (Quick sidebar - I've been accused of using the word "friend" as a cover-up for ambiguous relationships that I'd rather not define. No ambiguity here - a very genuine and amazing friend.) As I saw the other car round the corner, I said, "Don't steal my spot" - after all, I had been patiently waiting for it. But she did and that's when I . . .well, I drove on.

Now, you're probably thinking that's a lousy story and if you're looking for Lifetime Drama, you'd be right. Although I wasn't happy about getting my spot taken so blatantly, I chose to believe that the other driver was just a little confused. Even if she wasn't - what was I to do? It's not like I'm going to get into a fist fight over a place to park.

Similarly, in the midst of a time-sensitive project I was working on, my printer failed me. Now, this doesn't seem like a big deal unless you're like me, which is - you don't care about how computers work, just as long as they do. I tried the classic trick of unplugging it, turning it off and on, and pressing every button in random combinations. None of it worked. So I went to sleep. Again, not a great story, but there is a lesson.

The parking spot that was stolen was miles (slight exaggeration) from the theater. The one I ended up parking in was barely 20 steps away. The printer never did work that night, but the next day when I came home from work, it did. I don't know why, but that's o.k. I've learned not to question unexpected blessings. Additionally, I realized that if I had thrown a fit when it broke, or if I had taken the opportunity to rattle off a litany of the injustice done to me by the parking spot-thief, I'd still be in the same position I am today and position isn't all that bad. I secured a great spot and I have a working printer. My reaction didn't change the outcome, but it did help me appreciate it.

Sometimes its the small victories that teach us about grace. Sometimes we learn from our mistakes. Although I'm more apt to attempt the latter, I'm glad when the former offer some instruction too.

Unintended Consequences

We’ve all been in the situation. We’ve just said something and no sooner have the words left our mouth than we wish we had a time machine that we could jump in and revert to five minutes earlier. Now, having the wisdom of our mistake, we would never have uttered the words that caused offense. The folly of our error would remain un-experienced and our reputation would remain intact.



If this situation wasn’t bad enough, we now enter the wonderful electronic age where the transgression of writing without thinking takes faux paux to a whole level. With e-mail, a click of the button can be the difference between saving face and losing it. And electronic communication doesn’t give you the benefit of seeing the other person’s response so you can not immediately assuage their condemnation. You have to wait until a surprise of your own finds its way into your inbox to discover that your brilliant humor caused offense and not laughter. And immediately the backpedaling begins.



As someone who tends to have a sharp wit, I find myself in this situation more often than I care to admit. I’ve recently come to the conclusion that a large part of the reason for my sarcastic tendencies is that I’m a woman in a man’s world. Even though I work in a pretty feminine industry (jewelry), most of the people that I deal with outside of the office are men. Additionally as Tom Hanks said about baseball, “there’s no crying in business.” You’re supposed to be tough and as any guy will tell you sarcasm is one of the ways you earn your credentials. People of the male persuasion use sarcasm as a bizarre indication of bonding. I entered their world and adapted. Now, I find my sarcastic tendencies hard to turn off. Even when I try to edit myself, I find my natural response is a sarcastic one. Unfortunately repeatedly finding myself in hot water hasn’t done much to encourage censorship.


Which leads me to my point (if I still have any readers are this stage, they are thinking – it’s about time.) Sometimes there is nothing you can do about unintended consequences. You make a mistake, realize that things weren’t as clear as they first appeared, and you move on. Of course, along the way it’s important to reconcile with those who’ve hurt but as of yet, there is no time machine you can drop into to make the error altogether disappear. When I find myself in these situations, it’s a painful reminder of God’s grace. Somewhere along the way “Perhaps I’m not as wonderful as I originally thought” usually occurs to me and then I’m immediately grateful that God’s grace isn’t dependent on how great I am – and that it covers all consequences even those that are unintended.

Waiting for Strength

Somehow, in the midst of bouncing from school to school, I missed the Presidential Fitness Test. I'm not totally sure how it happened but I remember being anxious for it because I watched my sister having to sweat through performing the various tasks. Apparently I switched to private school just in the knick of time and I lucked out. Never was I to suffer the public humiliation of trying to meet all those standards.

As a result of skipping the milestone, there is no documented time that I was able to do a pull-up. Because I tended to be one of those girls who flung themselves around the even bars at school, I'm guessing that at some point in my life I probably could have done one, but there's no way to verify it. Consequently its become my goal to try to complete one. And as someone with minimal upper body strength and narrow shoulders this isn't a task that's easily accomplished. Slow and steady will win the race though, I'm told, and so I'm diligently embarking on a strength resistance program to build those muscles. As someone who gets easily bored with any type of weight-lifting program, it's not easy, especially considering there's not much of a foundation to build upon. But I figure the hard work will pay off eventually. As least I hope so.

The reason for this sudden detour in discussing my fitness routine is that recently I was struck by how different it is in God's economy. The thought occurred to me as I listened to Chris Tomlin's song "Everlasting God". In God's economy, you gain strength by waiting, not by working. Isaiah 40:31 says, "But those who who wait on their Lord will renew their strength, they will soar on wings as eagles . . ." You accomplish much by doing little. To achieve great things, you anticipate the work of another. If the same principles applied when it came to doing a pull-up, I would have been the Presidential Fitness Test long ago. But when reaching for God's goal, its not the work that we do that matters. Its the time that we spend in anticipation of His.

I wish that patience brought upper body strength in the same way that it brought spiritual strength. Although it doesn't, I'm glad that God's strength doesn't come as a result of the work I do. I would much rather that the Sustainer of All Things impart it to me as an act of grace. Any attempts on my part would be more futile than trying to do a pull-up.

Humble Grace

No one likes to eat humble pie. Its embedded in our nature to want to stick up for our rights, our prerogatives, and our relationships. We struggle to admit our frailties and even more rarely disclose our mistakes. We want people to believe that we have everything together even though no one really does. Humility comes at quite a cost in a culture that thrives on competition and success.

Recently though, I've learned, that humility is the only way that we can draw closer to God. Being a Christian for as long as I have, I'm tempted to forget the magnitude of my unworthiness that struck me the day that I accepted God's grace as covering for my sins. As time passes, I'm inclined to think that I have it all together and that God and I are going along just fine. And then something happens where someone does me a wrong, or someone questions my integrity and I want to again proclaim my worthiness as a human being. I forget my complete lack of worth except as a child of God. As God's child is not up to me to defend my honor or to strike a chord to seek my own justice. In a monarchy the king's heirs aren't called upon to defend themselves, the king's mere presence renders that unnecessary. In the same way, my King has my back and my calling is to continuously seek Him. When I do that, He promises to be my defender and my strength. Humility is what prompts us to say "more of You Lord, less of me" and its only when we truly recognize our smallness and God's significance that the prayer becomes our lifeline rather than a ritual uttering of an unrepentant heart.

Humility may be difficult to swallow but its the only pure nourishment for a soul that seeks Christ.

Growing in Grace

I work in business. One of the common refrains once you're in management is that "this management thing would be a whole lot easier if it wasn't for the people." And its true. If everything worked on autopilot, everything would be a lot simpler. It wouldn't be nearly as entertaining, but it would definitely run smoother.

The same could be said about many people's walk of faith. "If it wasn't for Christians, this Christian thing would be a lot easier." For many people, Christians challenge what they believe to be true about God mostly because regardless of how you slice it, we're all still sinners. For some reason, its easier to accept our own frailties than those of others, but that's a tangent for another time. Suffice to say, Christians make us rethink Christianity in a number of ways. We challenge God's extension of grace to people we deem less-than-worthy. We mock the sincerity of another's faith because their actions don't meet our high standards. And for those who have been in the Church for any length of time, you quickly learn that other believers cause you the greatest pain and the deepest grief. God didn't intend for it be this way, but then again, God didn't intend for Eve to eat the fruit.

What God did intend was that other Christians would be our primary nourishment for growing in grace. As John Bunyan said, "Christians are like the flowers in a garden, that have each of them the dew of Heaven, which, being shaken with the wind, they let fall at each other's roots, whereby they are jointly nourished, and become nourishers of each other." In other words, Christians should encourage our faith, not detract from it.

Maybe its easier to think of fellow believers not as nourishment, but as fertilizers. Even with all the garbage mixed in, they build our strength, solidify our resolve, and cause us to grow in grace.

A Great Grace

My friends are great. They are often the source of the biggest blessings in my life and it seems like every day I find a new reason to be grateful for them. It is wonderful to know that I have people who I can turn to in good times or in bad; friends who will be there for me even if I don't know what I need. We have fun together and just generally enjoy sharing life with one another. We love one another and they mean more to me than I can ever say.

One of the best things about my friends is that they are rarely difficult to love. Sure, we all get on each other's nerves from time to time, but when push comes to shove we know that we'll be there. This is something that we value and cherish, and I'm grateful that it is this way. I've come to realize though loving these wonderful people is nothing to be commended for. It's easy to love them. They contribute to my life, and I genuinely enjoy their company. It's the people who aren't so easy to love that pose the greater challenge.

Thomas a Kempis stated, "It is no great matter to associate with the good and
gentle; for this is a naturally pleasing to all, and everyone willingly enjoyeth peace, and loveth those best that agree with him. But to be able to live peaceably with hard and perverse persons, or with the disorderly, or with such as go contrary to us, is a great grace, and a most commendable thing." It's easy to love those who love us; it's harder to love those who make life difficult.

I plan to continue to love my friends fiercely. They deserve nothing less. But I hope that as Christ showers me with His love, I will become a reservoir of His grace to others. After all, He couldn't have found much that was lovable in me and that didn't stop Him from dispensing His grace.

Divine Tension

One of the greatest gifts my parents gave me was this: I always knew that they loved me and I always knew that they would hold me to the standards that they had set. Somehow, I never saw any conflict between these two. When I was punished I always knew it was because I had done something wrong, not because my parents had suddenly stopped caring for me. When I was shown loved, I never believed it was because of who I was or what I had accomplished - it was simply given because I exist. These two facets of my relationship with my parents gave me both security and a desire to do good, and I believe they are a large reason for the person I am today.

In Christendom many people stumble over the thought that God is our Father because their relationship with their parents wasn't as healthy as mine. In fact, they usually vacillate between two extremes. They either believe that because God loves them, broken standards should not lead to consequences. In this view, love is devoid of any demonstration of unpleasantness and therefore punishment is not part of the equation. The other spectrum view God as simply the distributor and arbitrator of a moral code. In this scenario, God's primary role is that of a entire judicial system and opportunity for a reciprocating relationship is minimal. Just as Paris Hilton would have a difficult time becoming friends with her sentencing judge, so do we when we view God as merely the rule-giver.

However, neither of these extremes are right. God is not just a big teddy bear, nor is He solely a referee. Instead, He is both grace and justice. Each have their place and each accomplish their purpose. Spurgeon explains it like this, " The law is for the self-righteous, to humble their pride:the gospel is for the lost, to remove their despair." God is the distributor of both.

I was exceptionally blessed to receive the parents that I did. Not everyone has the same situation. But everyone has a Heavenly Father that loves them and He is the source and the perpetuator of this divine tension.

Misperceptions

Recently, a friend shared with me a story of his weekend spent volunteering with the Special Olympics. During the soccer matches members of the other team who were not challenged by any physical disabilities (both disable and non-disable players were in the game) apparently were challenged by understanding the purpose of the Special Olympics as they felt it necessary to use the avenue as an opportunity to show off their shooting techniques and run up the score. Today, I read a story of a coach who got in a fight with an 18 year-old Pee Wee referee because the referee had ejected the coach for cursing in front of his 5-6 year old players. As one of my coworkers said upon hearing these stories, "the world's gone mad."

What's interesting to me about each of the stories is the perspectives that the chief actors must have had. Obviously the soccer players felt that their actions were appropriate for the setting even if they totally missed the purpose of the Special Olympics. Additionally, I'm guessing he Pee Wee coach felt his actions (both the cursing and the fighting) were entirely acceptable given the situation. If you asked any of these participants, they probably felt that their behavior was warranted and entirely justifiable. The fact that most dispassionate observers would disagree would probably not sway them. They probably figure that mere observers probably just couldn't understand.

I think we all can get like that some times. It's so easy to see a situation from our vantage point that it just seems to be the only view available. We believe that if others really understood it the way that we did, then they too would see things our way. The fact that they aren't tarnished by emotional involvement only makes their analysis seem, well, analytical. We truly believe that our perspective is the right one.

Rarely though does one person have a monopoly on a given situation. Life on this Earth is filled with complex interactions each influenced by the history and experience of the individuals. Thankfully, our Judge is not tainted by these perceptions, however our relationships on Earth must be. We can't be impartial, we can't have a clear perception. We are all influenced by the person we choose to be.

Maybe that's why God said "mercy triumphs over judgment!" (James 2:13) Granting mercy doesn't require a perfect perceptive, bestowing judgment does.

Bypassing on judging the soccer players or the Pee Wee coach isn't easy. Their actions seem so blatantly wrong. But extending mercy assures that we take one step away from becoming them.

The Funeral Service of Grace

Unity is a Christian principle that's very rarely practiced. After all, it is easier to identify that which divides us than that which unites. Denominations are formed on the basis of these divisions and Christians often identify others of different belief systems based on how their belief system contradicts their own.

If this is true in the Church, its even truer outside of it. This, after all is somewhat Biblical, as Scripture teaches us that unbelievers will recognize those that follow Christ because they are different. What's easy to forget is that the defining difference is supposed to be the love we have for one another. Too often Christians are recognized for their views on morality and or doctrinal issues and not because of the fact that they are dispensers of God's grace.

In his book, Whats So Amazing About Grace, Philip Yancey writes. "Grace dies when it becomes us versus them" (172). What the author is teaching is that when we concentrate on that which divides us, its very hard to recognize that which we share - the fact that we are all sinners saved by grace. Instead we think of the other - the one who disagrees with our view on a certain matter. And its very hard to love "the other." Its much easier to love those that we think are like us - those that we consider a friend.

If grace were to die, I think its eulogy would be "When I came, they didn't recognize me. And those that should have known me the most often refused to share me with others. If they had, my death would not have occurred." Its epithet would read "We're all oddballs, but God loves us anyway"(Yancey). After all, thats what grace is.

From generation to generation

From generation to generation

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If you're reading this, can you send me a message, post a comment or something. I'm just curious. And would be interested in any feedback. Thanks! And now to our regularly scheduled program) . . . .

I was reading a debate recently regarding the impact of parents vs. genetics and socializaton on things such as faith, politics, personality, etc. (If I knew how to insert a hyperlink, I, like any good blogger, would include a link, but I don't. So I won't). One party argued that despite what some scientific studies suggest, parents MUST have an impact - it seems intuitive. Another argued that parenting's impact is mitigated by other factors such as who kids hang out with (i.e. their social group). Leaving aside the science which I am woefully unable to debate, the discussion itself was interesting if for no other reason that there would be people out there who would deny or severly limit parents' impact. After all, as the first party suggested, it seems intuitive that their impact is real - how many people do you know who turned out the way they did because of an expresed commitment to be unlike their parents? And how many of these people failed? A lot do - primarily because the impact of their parents is far too great.

In his book, "What's So Amazing About Grace?", Philip Yancey tells the story of how one generation passed on a heritage of unforgiveness. Year after year, messages of ungrace had been inherited. And at the time of his writing, the cycle had remained unbroken. Conversely, I am the byproduct of several generations of love. From generation to generation messages of love were communicated and this in no small way shaped the person I've become.

May the cycle remain unbroken.

The Common Human Condition

The Common Human Condition

I've been thinking about those things in life that are common to us all. Among them:
- Messing up
- Needing love
- Getting sick
- Having a family.

All of these things are experienced by every human being, regardless of the country that they live in, the friends they keep or the degree to which each condition is manifest in their lives. What I've learned is that too often we focus on the differences, on what distinguishes one person or one group of people from ourselves. However, the things we share in common are often stronger, more true, and a greater source of peace than can hope to be achieved merely through resolving what separates us.
I don't believe we can solve all that's wrong with the world through human means. Providence's help is desperately needed. But maybe if we viewed each other as Providence did - all in the same condition needing the same Source of grace - we'd get closer to resolution.