The Pain of Humilty

I have a muscle in my right shoulder that regularly spasms. Its the result of years of bad posture and poor muscle development. It's a constant reminder to me that my mother probably was always right. After all, she was the one who constantly told me to stop slouching even when I didn't think I was.

Recently I discovered that more than at any other time my muscle spasms in church. I always thought that this was because of the construction of the chairs, but I actually think it may be something different. Whether I'm singing or I'm listening to a sermon, when I'm in church I'm reminded of how lowly I am especially in comparison to an awesome God. My body's response to this recognition is to slouch forward, a characteristic sign of humble circumstances. I realize my worthlessness contrasted with His worth and I must bow before Him.

What's noteworthy is how unnatural this is for my body. We're cautioned to stand up straight because it projects confidence. We're trained to move with our shoulders back because it puts our body in proper alignment. But when we are properly aligned with our Creator, we realize that we truly are people "of unclean lips" and are forced to our knees. My body revolts against this, as does every world inclination in my spirit, and yet this is what the glory of Christ compels. The spasm in my shoulder is a reminder that humility is never what our bodies, or our worldly nature wants, but it is the proper response to God.